61 :(
It didn't double but it did rise which the nurse said was a good sign. She also said they like to see a rise of 1.5 - 2 x's in 48 hours which it did & at this point it really could go either way. Next HCG is Tuesday.
At this point I don't know what to think. I am trying to stay positive but I ain't gonna lie - it is really hard! I am so frustrated right now. After the emotional rollercoaster I have been on these last 2 years, why can't something just go easily for once?
Ugh - and so we wait....again!!!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
HCG results
39.9
Not the highest number in the world but anything >5 is considered positive so I guess as of today I am officially pregnant!
Next beta is Friday morning so will be saying lots of prayers for a doubling number!
Ugh - this is so stressful!
Not the highest number in the world but anything >5 is considered positive so I guess as of today I am officially pregnant!
Next beta is Friday morning so will be saying lots of prayers for a doubling number!
Ugh - this is so stressful!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Confession
I've been keeping a secret.
I broke down Sunday morning after my 5dp6dt post & started peeing on sticks.
Um - by the looks of it I think I might be pregnant :)
The true test will be the HCG blood test which is tomorrow so could you all please say a little prayer for a high number!? I would very much appreciate it!
Oh & for those of my friends & family who read my blog if you wouldn't mind, could you please keep this little tidbit of info on the "down-low"? I've got such a LONG way to go & many hurdles to get over before we start sharing the news. Thanks so much!
OMG - this just might be happening for real!!
I broke down Sunday morning after my 5dp6dt post & started peeing on sticks.
Um - by the looks of it I think I might be pregnant :)
The true test will be the HCG blood test which is tomorrow so could you all please say a little prayer for a high number!? I would very much appreciate it!
Oh & for those of my friends & family who read my blog if you wouldn't mind, could you please keep this little tidbit of info on the "down-low"? I've got such a LONG way to go & many hurdles to get over before we start sharing the news. Thanks so much!
OMG - this just might be happening for real!!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
5dp6dt
So today I am 5 days post 6 day transfer.
So far, so good. There has been no spotting & no "feeling" like AF is around the corner. I have been having some mild cramping, my boobs are really sore & I am SO tired in the afternoons. I have taken a nap each day for the last 4 days & I am so not a "nap" person. Pretty sure that is due to all the estrogen & progesterone I am taking.
With the FET cycle, there seems to be ALOT more meds I have to take post transfer than with an IVF cycle. Here is what my daily dose of medication looks like:
Morning:
- Vivelle - (estrogen) 4 patches every other day
- Estrace 2mg
- Progesterone vaginal suppository 100 mg
- PIO injection 50 mg/1ml
- Baby ASA 81mg
- Prenatal vitamins
- folic acid 400 mcg
Afternoon:
- Estrace 2mg
Evening:
- Progesterone vaginal suppository 100 mg
- Lovenox injection
- Estrace 2mg
I was worried I would forget to take something so I had to make a daily chart & now highlight the meds as I take them - yes I am a bit OCD :)
Not sure when I will POAS. I have a whole box of them under my sink just waiting to be peed on :) I will definitely be testing the morning of my beta just so I am prepared for the phone call later in the morning but I just may be tempted to POAS earlier!?
::sigh::
We will see...
So far, so good. There has been no spotting & no "feeling" like AF is around the corner. I have been having some mild cramping, my boobs are really sore & I am SO tired in the afternoons. I have taken a nap each day for the last 4 days & I am so not a "nap" person. Pretty sure that is due to all the estrogen & progesterone I am taking.
With the FET cycle, there seems to be ALOT more meds I have to take post transfer than with an IVF cycle. Here is what my daily dose of medication looks like:
Morning:
- Vivelle - (estrogen) 4 patches every other day
- Estrace 2mg
- Progesterone vaginal suppository 100 mg
- PIO injection 50 mg/1ml
- Baby ASA 81mg
- Prenatal vitamins
- folic acid 400 mcg
Afternoon:
- Estrace 2mg
Evening:
- Progesterone vaginal suppository 100 mg
- Lovenox injection
- Estrace 2mg
I was worried I would forget to take something so I had to make a daily chart & now highlight the meds as I take them - yes I am a bit OCD :)
Not sure when I will POAS. I have a whole box of them under my sink just waiting to be peed on :) I will definitely be testing the morning of my beta just so I am prepared for the phone call later in the morning but I just may be tempted to POAS earlier!?
::sigh::
We will see...
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
FET done
After 3 weeks of BCP, 2 weeks of Lupron injections, 2 weeks of Estrogen patches & 1 week of Progesterone injections, transfer day is finally here!
The morning started out crazy-busy. I took my sister & adorable nephews to the airport this morning & said goodbye after 4 days of much fun & lots of running around. Right after I dropped them off I got the call from the Embryologist letting me know that the first 2 embryos they thawed had survived so those would be the ones we would be transferring today. So that means that we still have 2 frosties left :) I was SO happy to hear this news. Gives me one more ounce of hope that if for some reason this cycle doesn't work then we still have one more chance.
After stopping at the airport I then rushed off to my acupuncture appointment & had a super relaxing session. Definitely what I needed after such a busy weekend! Afterwards I headed on over to the IF clinic for the FET. I ended up meeting my husband in the lobby, popped my Valium & we headed into the clinic. Our transfer was scheduled for 11:30am but they were running behind so we sat there for almost an hour waiting. Needless to say the Valium kicked in while sitting there & I was falling asleep on my husbands shoulder. At 12:30pm they finally called us back to do the transfer & I was WAY relaxed.
We were taken back to the transfer room & got to view our embryos on the monitor. Here are our potential future babies:
They couldn't fit both embryos on the monitor so that is why there are two separate pics. I had asked the Embryologist about the grade/quality of the embies & I was a bit disappointed when she wouldn't give me a straight answer. It gave me the feeling that they weren't very good quality & she just didn't want to tell me. All she said was that they were good quality with some fragmentation & they quality was unchanged since before the freeze. So I have no idea how good they are but to me it looks like the one on the bottom looks better quality than the one on the top!? I know perfectly fine babies come from all kinds of "grade embryos" so I am going to not worry about it & just leave it in God's hands now.
The transfer itself was easy & went flawless. Dr. R said there was no trauma to the cervix when inserting the catheter & that the transfer went perfectly. I laid there for about 15 min after it was all said & done then headed home where I proceeded to take a 3 hour nap. Now I am just chillin' on the couch catching up on blogs & DVR shows. I am to stay on bed rest through Thursday morning when I am to return to work.
So now we wait 8 long days. Beta is Wed, June 29th so here is to a speedy week with lots of growing & sticky embie vibes sent along the way.
The morning started out crazy-busy. I took my sister & adorable nephews to the airport this morning & said goodbye after 4 days of much fun & lots of running around. Right after I dropped them off I got the call from the Embryologist letting me know that the first 2 embryos they thawed had survived so those would be the ones we would be transferring today. So that means that we still have 2 frosties left :) I was SO happy to hear this news. Gives me one more ounce of hope that if for some reason this cycle doesn't work then we still have one more chance.
After stopping at the airport I then rushed off to my acupuncture appointment & had a super relaxing session. Definitely what I needed after such a busy weekend! Afterwards I headed on over to the IF clinic for the FET. I ended up meeting my husband in the lobby, popped my Valium & we headed into the clinic. Our transfer was scheduled for 11:30am but they were running behind so we sat there for almost an hour waiting. Needless to say the Valium kicked in while sitting there & I was falling asleep on my husbands shoulder. At 12:30pm they finally called us back to do the transfer & I was WAY relaxed.
We were taken back to the transfer room & got to view our embryos on the monitor. Here are our potential future babies:
They couldn't fit both embryos on the monitor so that is why there are two separate pics. I had asked the Embryologist about the grade/quality of the embies & I was a bit disappointed when she wouldn't give me a straight answer. It gave me the feeling that they weren't very good quality & she just didn't want to tell me. All she said was that they were good quality with some fragmentation & they quality was unchanged since before the freeze. So I have no idea how good they are but to me it looks like the one on the bottom looks better quality than the one on the top!? I know perfectly fine babies come from all kinds of "grade embryos" so I am going to not worry about it & just leave it in God's hands now.
The transfer itself was easy & went flawless. Dr. R said there was no trauma to the cervix when inserting the catheter & that the transfer went perfectly. I laid there for about 15 min after it was all said & done then headed home where I proceeded to take a 3 hour nap. Now I am just chillin' on the couch catching up on blogs & DVR shows. I am to stay on bed rest through Thursday morning when I am to return to work.
So now we wait 8 long days. Beta is Wed, June 29th so here is to a speedy week with lots of growing & sticky embie vibes sent along the way.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Ute check
This morning I went in for my bloodwork & endometrium uterine lining scan. Labs came back with Estradiol being a smidge low & Progesterone was within normal range. With the low Estradiol my RE wants me to start taking Estrace 2mg 3x's daily starting today to bump up the estrogen levels. More Estrogen = more hot flashes - fabulous :)
Next up - a date with the dildo cam. As I am sitting there half-naked :) I said a little prayer that we would find my lining to be nice & thick with no ovarian cysts. Just then the NP walked in. To my surprise it wasn't my usual NP but rather my very favorite NP from the other IF clinic I used to go to. I was SO happy & excited to see her & she instantly gave me a hug! She is the NP who did ALL of my scans during the 6 IUI attempts & my failed IVF cycle so she was VERY familiar with my history & it felt so comforting to have her there. I was shocked to find out she had quit over there & has been working at this clinic for over 4 weeks now. It was definitely a nice surprise & so nice to see a familiar face who knows all about my journey these past 2 years.
After much catching up, we eventually started the scan. I am happy to report that I have no cysts, my ovaries are nice & suppressed & she said "you have a nice, thick, juicy (lol) uterine lining showing a beautiful triple stripe & measuring a little over 11mm". I am so glad & relieved to hear all is progressing well in the uterus :)
So the plan is to stop Lupron on Thursday - YAY, start the Estrace today, continue with the Estrogen patches & on Thursday start the Progesterone IM injections & suppositories - BOO! And in-between all that I will start taking the Dexamethasone & a Z-pack.
At my last WTF appt, I talked in great detail with my RE about trying a blood-thinner after the ET & with my 2 m/c & failed cycles she thought it wouldn't be a bad idea & couldn't hurt to try. So we agreed to go ahead & do Heparin injections 2x's daily starting Thursday & will continue those indefinitely. FET is still scheduled for late morning next Tuesday!
We are exactly one week away...woo hoo!
*Update: I stopped into the pharmacy after work tonight to pick up my Estrace & Heparin & they informed me that they are out of stock of Heparin so they called my RE & ended up switching me to Lovenox. Only one injection a day - yay! She said as things progress, they may switch me back to Heparin since the half-life is so much shorter than Lovenox. So we will see...
Next up - a date with the dildo cam. As I am sitting there half-naked :) I said a little prayer that we would find my lining to be nice & thick with no ovarian cysts. Just then the NP walked in. To my surprise it wasn't my usual NP but rather my very favorite NP from the other IF clinic I used to go to. I was SO happy & excited to see her & she instantly gave me a hug! She is the NP who did ALL of my scans during the 6 IUI attempts & my failed IVF cycle so she was VERY familiar with my history & it felt so comforting to have her there. I was shocked to find out she had quit over there & has been working at this clinic for over 4 weeks now. It was definitely a nice surprise & so nice to see a familiar face who knows all about my journey these past 2 years.
After much catching up, we eventually started the scan. I am happy to report that I have no cysts, my ovaries are nice & suppressed & she said "you have a nice, thick, juicy (lol) uterine lining showing a beautiful triple stripe & measuring a little over 11mm". I am so glad & relieved to hear all is progressing well in the uterus :)
So the plan is to stop Lupron on Thursday - YAY, start the Estrace today, continue with the Estrogen patches & on Thursday start the Progesterone IM injections & suppositories - BOO! And in-between all that I will start taking the Dexamethasone & a Z-pack.
At my last WTF appt, I talked in great detail with my RE about trying a blood-thinner after the ET & with my 2 m/c & failed cycles she thought it wouldn't be a bad idea & couldn't hurt to try. So we agreed to go ahead & do Heparin injections 2x's daily starting Thursday & will continue those indefinitely. FET is still scheduled for late morning next Tuesday!
We are exactly one week away...woo hoo!
*Update: I stopped into the pharmacy after work tonight to pick up my Estrace & Heparin & they informed me that they are out of stock of Heparin so they called my RE & ended up switching me to Lovenox. Only one injection a day - yay! She said as things progress, they may switch me back to Heparin since the half-life is so much shorter than Lovenox. So we will see...
Friday, June 3, 2011
Re-check
Good news!
Had my blood drawn again this morning to recheck levels & my progesterone came back at 1.0 & Estradiol remained <20.
Fully suppressed - woo hoo!
So today is officially CD 1 of my FET cycle. The plan is to decrease the Lupron injections back to 10 units & start the Vivelle (estrogen) patches. I am to return on June 14th for a blood draw & an US to check my uterine lining to be sure it is thickening. If that checks out ok then we will proceed with the FET at 11am on June 21st.
We are getting closer - yay :)
Had my blood drawn again this morning to recheck levels & my progesterone came back at 1.0 & Estradiol remained <20.
Fully suppressed - woo hoo!
So today is officially CD 1 of my FET cycle. The plan is to decrease the Lupron injections back to 10 units & start the Vivelle (estrogen) patches. I am to return on June 14th for a blood draw & an US to check my uterine lining to be sure it is thickening. If that checks out ok then we will proceed with the FET at 11am on June 21st.
We are getting closer - yay :)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Suppressed?!
So far this cycle has been easy-peasy. Other than the side effects from the Lupron, there hasn't been much to complain about. We are exactly three weeks away from transfer day & I am starting to look forward to the possibilities this cycle may bring.
Some of you have asked how many embryos we are going to transfer with 4 frosties left & up until now we hadn't really decided. But after talking it over with our RE & the hubby & not being able to come to a decision we are going to leave it in the hands of God - so to speak.
The RE would like to see us transfer 3. We aren't really comfortable with that many & would like to only transfer 2. So we have decided to thaw the 2 best embryos first & if they both make it then those are the 2 we transfer. If one of them doesn't make it then we have asked that they thaw the other two & we will transfer how ever many survive the thaw. That could be 3 or it could be 1 or could even be none. For reasons I can't really explain, I would rather not leave one little lonely frostie behind so that is why we would thaw them all if one doesn't make it. What I am hoping & praying will happen is the first two make it through the thaw & then we will have 2 frosties left for another chance down the road. Time will tell...
This morning I had my labs drawn so that they can be sure I am "suppressed" enough before I start the estrogen patches on Friday.
I just got the call that my Estradiol was <20 which is good but my progesterone was slightly elevated. They want to see it <1.0 & mine was 1.1 - hardly enough to call it elevated in my opinion! So I have been instructed to increase the Lupron from 10 to 20 units & recheck levels Friday morning. Not too thrilled about increasing the Lupron but I guess I have no choice. If my levels come back within range on Friday then I can start decreasing the Lupron & start the Estrogen patches. Cross your fingers!
I also started my acupuncture sessions back up today - oh how I have missed these appointments! I had forgotten how relaxing they are & how good I feel afterwards! I plan on going once a week up until FET, will do a session the day of & the day after FET & will continue throughout the 1st trimester if I am lucky enough to get PG. It's too bad acupuncture is so expensive because I would definitely be going a lot more than just once a week!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Update
So far I have completed 3 weeks of BCP & am on Day 5 of Lupron injections. My boobs are enormous, I have a headache that won't quit, I am irritable, cranky & the hot flashes/night sweats have begun. To say I am a moody bitch is an understatement. My husband is dealing with it the best he can & I am sure he is thankful he works nights! He is truly a saint for putting up with my hormonal craziness. Oh how I love that man.Tomorrow will be my last BCP. And as much as the hubby has enjoyed looking at my new D-cups, I am SO looking forward to getting back to my C's :) I will be staying on the Lupron for another 2 weeks so that is sure to be fun & then the PIO injections & suppositories begin - more fun.
We are now exactly 4 weeks away until transfer day. Getting closer....
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Benefits
Got to sleep in this morning & arose out of bed at 9am. The hubby greeted me with a hug & a "Happy Furry-Mother's Day" along with a cup of coffee - such a sweet guy! I also got tons of smooches from the furry's! I then proceeded to sit down with my coffee, outside on the patio with the birds chirping, the sun bright & do some blogging. Ahhhh - fabulous morning :)
The day is now coming to an end as I sit here enjoying my evening on the patio, I think about the meaning of today & how it is a special day to honor mom's. Unfortunately, it is also a day that brings a bitter reminder to all those who have suffered through infertility & loss.
This time last year I was upset, sad & felt devastated that I wasn't yet a mom. This year I don't have quite the negative feelings but it does still bother me. Somehow I feel a bit mellower about the whole situation - maybe it's because I have been dealing with infertility for so long!? Or maybe it's because I have changed my attitude!? Or maybe it's because I have grown to realize that it is what it is & I can't change the cards that have been dealt to me?!
Regardless of what it is, lately I have decided to do away with my "poor-me" attitude & instead enjoy this childless life I live rather than resent it. I have come to realize that there are many benefits to having children, but on the flip side, there are just as many to NOT having them & I am going to enjoy these benefits until my status changes. My sister (who is a mother of 2 boys - 3 & 1 yrs old) is always reminding me of these benefits:
1. Sleeping in on weekends!
2. Ability to spend money freely – have you seen my Coach purse collection?!
3. I can choose to work late nights & take extra call on weekends & not feel guilty about it.
4. I can spend many summer evenings on the patio reading or blogging with the furry's beside me.
5. The hubby & I can go out for lunch/dinner & enjoy the company of just the two of us.
6. I am able to spend time doing the hobbies I love by myself - reading, gardening, shopping, etc.
7. I can meet the girls after work for dinner or a quick drink on any given evening.
8. My car is always clean & if it is dirty it is because of me & me only!
9. I can lay around on a lazy Sunday & watch movies ALL DAY if I want!
10. When I leave the house, all I need are my keys & my purse & I am out the door in 2 minutes.
11. I can plan weekend getaway's with my hubby or girlfriends at any time.
12. I can enjoy late "game-night" with the girls every month while enjoying a cocktail or two because I know I get to sleep in the next morning!
This time last year I was upset, sad & felt devastated that I wasn't yet a mom. This year I don't have quite the negative feelings but it does still bother me. Somehow I feel a bit mellower about the whole situation - maybe it's because I have been dealing with infertility for so long!? Or maybe it's because I have changed my attitude!? Or maybe it's because I have grown to realize that it is what it is & I can't change the cards that have been dealt to me?!
Regardless of what it is, lately I have decided to do away with my "poor-me" attitude & instead enjoy this childless life I live rather than resent it. I have come to realize that there are many benefits to having children, but on the flip side, there are just as many to NOT having them & I am going to enjoy these benefits until my status changes. My sister (who is a mother of 2 boys - 3 & 1 yrs old) is always reminding me of these benefits:
1. Sleeping in on weekends!
2. Ability to spend money freely – have you seen my Coach purse collection?!
3. I can choose to work late nights & take extra call on weekends & not feel guilty about it.
4. I can spend many summer evenings on the patio reading or blogging with the furry's beside me.
5. The hubby & I can go out for lunch/dinner & enjoy the company of just the two of us.
6. I am able to spend time doing the hobbies I love by myself - reading, gardening, shopping, etc.
7. I can meet the girls after work for dinner or a quick drink on any given evening.
8. My car is always clean & if it is dirty it is because of me & me only!
9. I can lay around on a lazy Sunday & watch movies ALL DAY if I want!
10. When I leave the house, all I need are my keys & my purse & I am out the door in 2 minutes.
11. I can plan weekend getaway's with my hubby or girlfriends at any time.
12. I can enjoy late "game-night" with the girls every month while enjoying a cocktail or two because I know I get to sleep in the next morning!
Now don't get me wrong - I enjoy my child-free "benefits" LOTS & some might even be envious of the life we lead, but don't think I wouldn't gladly trade all of it in a skinny minute if it meant I could be a mother. Maybe this time next year I will get to be so truly blessed but until then, I will continue to enjoy my life children-free & be "mom" to my furry's that love me so unconditionally.
With that said, I want to wish a Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful women in my family - especially my own mother, to all my girlfriend's who are mom's & mom's-to-be, to all the other honorary mom's out there & we can't forget all us "pet" mom's :) May you all enjoy this beautiful day with those that matter most to you!
Hugs to you all,
HT :)
Me & my mom
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Results
Just got the lab results of my 13 vials of blood they drew on me last week - aka: auto-immune & RPL panel.
Normal.
Every single one of them was within normal limits.
As relieved as I am to not have a clotting disorder, diabetes, lupus, thyroid issues or any other auto-immune or clotting problems, I am disappointed that there wasn't something definite found to explain WHY I can't get pregnant :(
Turns out I'm about as normal as you can get & so the diagnosis stays the same - crappy eggs + crappy reserve = crappy cycle. So we will see what Dr. B says about the results & see if she still wants to put me on heparin or Lovenox come transfer time!? At this point, what do we have to lose???
Normal.
Every single one of them was within normal limits.
As relieved as I am to not have a clotting disorder, diabetes, lupus, thyroid issues or any other auto-immune or clotting problems, I am disappointed that there wasn't something definite found to explain WHY I can't get pregnant :(
Turns out I'm about as normal as you can get & so the diagnosis stays the same - crappy eggs + crappy reserve = crappy cycle. So we will see what Dr. B says about the results & see if she still wants to put me on heparin or Lovenox come transfer time!? At this point, what do we have to lose???
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
CD 1 - here.we.go
Today is CD 1. So you know what that means - time to get another cycle started :)
I called my NP to let her know AF has made her appearance & she sent me the calendar for our FET cycle. If everything goes as planned, we are looking to do the transfer on June 21st. That seems SO far away to me but I am sure the time will fly by - at least I am hoping it does!?
So here is the timeline:
5/3: start BCP
5/19: start Lupron injections
5/24: last BCP & continue Lupron
5/31: suppression check
6/3: start Estrogen patches
6/14: uterine lining check
6/15: last Lupron injection & begin Progesterone
6/21: transfer day :)
So let the mood swings, the headaches, the hot flashes, the night sweats, the irritableness & the "Lupron Fog" begin. Because this time.....this time we are going to kick IF's ass :)
I called my NP to let her know AF has made her appearance & she sent me the calendar for our FET cycle. If everything goes as planned, we are looking to do the transfer on June 21st. That seems SO far away to me but I am sure the time will fly by - at least I am hoping it does!?
So here is the timeline:
5/3: start BCP
5/19: start Lupron injections
5/24: last BCP & continue Lupron
5/31: suppression check
6/3: start Estrogen patches
6/14: uterine lining check
6/15: last Lupron injection & begin Progesterone
6/21: transfer day :)
So let the mood swings, the headaches, the hot flashes, the night sweats, the irritableness & the "Lupron Fog" begin. Because this time.....this time we are going to kick IF's ass :)
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