Another morning of coffee, a granola bar & an intimate moment with the dildo cam. Can't say I am going to miss these kinds of mornings....
It is CD 7 & I have been doing injections for 4 days now. During my US the nurse found 4 good-sized follies growing. Two 10mm's on the left & two 10mm's on the right. My cyst has shrunk down to 9mm so that is a good sign. I go back Friday morning for a follicle re-check & will probably be doing the IUI either Sun or Mon if everything looks good.
My appt was at 7:30am so I ended up being 30 min late to work. I had called the lab supervisor at the East location (I work at 3 different hospital locations) around 6am & left a message on voicemail informing him I was going to be a bit late so I didn't think of it as a big deal. Lucky for me my boss at the main hospital knows of all my fertility appts & has excused me from all late arrivals while we go through this process. Since we don't start procedures at work until well past 8:30am I didn't think my being late was going to disrupt anything.
I get there promptly at 8:24am, changed into my scrubs & they were just putting the patient on the procedure table when I walked into the lab. I went about my day as I normally do & around 3:30pm the lab supervisor asks to talk to me in private right before he is about to leave. Not sure what this was about but I followed him into the break room & sat down. He stayed standing & proceeds to tell me (while he is pointing his finger at me) that it was unacceptable to call in like that & tell him I was going to be late for ANY reason whatsoever - even traffic & we start at 8:30am & how he expects us to be there at 8am & how my actions were inexcusable. He told me to consider this a "verbal warning" & my unexcused tardiness will go into my file & my boss will be talked to about my late arrival.
W.T.F?
I could not believe what I was hearing. In my 11 years of working for that hospital I have never had anyone belittle me or talk to me in that way before. I can count on one hand all the times I have punched in late & if you ask anyone that I work with they would vouch that I am an exceptional employee. What pisses me off the most is that this guy isn't even my boss. I have worked at the hospital far longer than he has. He just happens to be the "lab supervisor" there so I'm not sure who died & made him in charge!
At that moment I had a hormonal breakdown & started to cry. These damn hormone injections make me an emotional mess - can't even watch a Folger's commercial without tearing up :( This "scolding" had sent me over the edge.
So I wiped the tears & proceeded to tell him that why I was late was none of his business but if he needed to know it was because I was undergoing fertility treatments & it was very important that I get to these appts & that is why I make them for first thing in the morning. I also told him that my boss is very well aware of my treatments & has excused me of any & all "late arrivals" due to these appts so to go ahead & tell him of my "unexcused tardy" because guess what? He already knew about it :) Once he got wind of all that he backed off, felt like an ass for being such an ass & apologized for "being so harsh" - as he should!
As if it's not bad enough already dealing with injections, raging hormones & morning dates with the dildo cam but I have to deal with an asshole at work too!
Ugh - Calgon...take me away!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
CD2 update
Had my CD2 US & b/w today. During the US, the nurse found a huge cyst on my right ovary - about 26mm. I had been feeling some sharp pain on that side this past week so I figured that's what was going on. She said we need to see what my Estradiol is before we decide to cancel this months round of injections. If it is low we can proceed. If it is high then we need to take a month off & let the cyst shrink.
Later in the afternoon I got a phone call from the nurse & my Estradiol came back at 41 & FSH was 8.8. Both numbers are within normal limits so the RE said I was ok to proceed with injections starting tomorrow night. Hopefully the cyst will shrink in the next couple of weeks!? Will see what it is doing during my CD7 US on Tuesday.
Later in the afternoon I got a phone call from the nurse & my Estradiol came back at 41 & FSH was 8.8. Both numbers are within normal limits so the RE said I was ok to proceed with injections starting tomorrow night. Hopefully the cyst will shrink in the next couple of weeks!? Will see what it is doing during my CD7 US on Tuesday.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Test Day
Tested this morning & this is what it showed:
Nice, huh? Beta was 3 so just one more month of disappointment, sadness & frustration to add to the list :(
I have decided to do one more month of injectables - only because I still have $300 worth of medication in my refrigerator to use. If I end up with a "BFN" this next round then I am calling it quits with the injectables route. I will then be scheduling an appt with the RE to discuss what the next step should be. Going to gather all the info on IVF & the cost that comes with it & then we will make a decision.
I do know that whatever we decide, it will be a final decision. I will be turning 38 in August & honestly, I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this - mentally & physically!?!
So with that said, Cycle #16 - here we go...
Nice, huh? Beta was 3 so just one more month of disappointment, sadness & frustration to add to the list :( I have decided to do one more month of injectables - only because I still have $300 worth of medication in my refrigerator to use. If I end up with a "BFN" this next round then I am calling it quits with the injectables route. I will then be scheduling an appt with the RE to discuss what the next step should be. Going to gather all the info on IVF & the cost that comes with it & then we will make a decision.
I do know that whatever we decide, it will be a final decision. I will be turning 38 in August & honestly, I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this - mentally & physically!?!
So with that said, Cycle #16 - here we go...
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Holy Cleavage
This picture pretty much sums up what I look like these days. After taking Prometrium (progesterone supplements) for the last 9 days, I have gone up at least one cup size. I am literally popping out of every bra that I own & it is NOT comfortable. My boobs feel "full" & are SO sore. Today it hurt to even wear a bra! I was so tempted at work to just take the damn thing off. I even had a female co-worker ask me if I was wearing the VS Plunge Bra!? Seriously - do I look that much bigger?
Only 5 more days left & then maybe my boobs will return to normal - for a couple of weeks anyways! Unless of course I get a BFP & then I will be on Prometrium indefinately! God help me....and my boobs!
Monday, June 7, 2010
Inseminated
Well, I am officially inseminated...for the 3rd time. Hubby was able to get out of work early today & I was home with the day off so it all worked out for us this round.
I started having right & left-sided pain around noon today & by 1pm it was almost intolerable - which makes sense since I was scheduled to ovulate anywhere between 1-4pm today. We collected our "sample" around 1:30pm, drove up to the RE's office to wait for the sample to be prepared & by 2:15pm they were calling for me to come on back for the IUI. Props go to the hubby for having a 22 million sperm count this go around - woo hoo :) That is 12 million more than our last IUI!
So with 4 follicles, an awesome sperm count & good timing let's hope that this is the cycle we get our BFP! Beta is scheduled to be drawn on June 21st so now we wait....
I started having right & left-sided pain around noon today & by 1pm it was almost intolerable - which makes sense since I was scheduled to ovulate anywhere between 1-4pm today. We collected our "sample" around 1:30pm, drove up to the RE's office to wait for the sample to be prepared & by 2:15pm they were calling for me to come on back for the IUI. Props go to the hubby for having a 22 million sperm count this go around - woo hoo :) That is 12 million more than our last IUI!
So with 4 follicles, an awesome sperm count & good timing let's hope that this is the cycle we get our BFP! Beta is scheduled to be drawn on June 21st so now we wait....
Friday, June 4, 2010
CD9 check
4 awesome follicles found on US - 17mm, 16mm, 14mm & 13mm
The plan is one more shot of Follistim tonight, trigger shot of Ovidrel late Saturday night & IUI scheduled for Monday afternoon. Looks like I won't have to be doing the IUI during the wedding weekend afterall! Nice...
The plan is one more shot of Follistim tonight, trigger shot of Ovidrel late Saturday night & IUI scheduled for Monday afternoon. Looks like I won't have to be doing the IUI during the wedding weekend afterall! Nice...
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Follie Check
So before work this morning, I made a stop into the RE's office for b/w & an US. Would be nice if they served donuts & coffee with that :)
Looks like bumping up the Follistim helped! I have 4 good-sized follicles growing - 3 more than I have ever had at one time! The nurse said that is awesome for being CD 7! My Estradiol was 247 & is a climbin' so that is good also! So I shall return on Friday morning for another US & we will see what the plan is for the weekend!
Looks like bumping up the Follistim helped! I have 4 good-sized follicles growing - 3 more than I have ever had at one time! The nurse said that is awesome for being CD 7! My Estradiol was 247 & is a climbin' so that is good also! So I shall return on Friday morning for another US & we will see what the plan is for the weekend!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
How much??
On Friday I placed my monthly order of Follistim & Ovidrel & didn't realize that with Monday being the holiday that it was going to take until Wed to be delivered. I had enough Follistim to get me through Tuesday if I were to stay at 100iu's/daily but my RE increased my dose to 125 iu's daily which was only going to get me through Monday.
So on Saturday the RE called in a prescription to the only pharmacy in the KC area that carries Follistim. It is a privately owned pharmacy located inside one of the hospitals here in Overland Park, KS. I left work early today so I could get there in time before they closed.
When I got there, I gave them my name, told them what I was there for & the pharmacy tech went to look for my prescription. Turns out that they were OUT of Follistim. I almost flipped the F out. My RE told me that they are supposed to ALWAYS have Follisitim because they are the ONLY pharmacy in Kansas City that carries it & they are telling me they don't have any. WTF? This prescription was sent to them on Saturday & they didn't even bother to call me to tell me they were out?! It is Tuesday for F sake!
So after I said a few choice words to the pharmacist, he goes back to the frig, pulls out somebody elses prescription of Follistim, slaps my informaion sticker on it and proceeds to ring me up. I was somewhat bothered that I was getting some poor girls prescription but was secretly glad they were able to accomodate me.
Then the pharmacist says:
P: that will be $399!
H: Um - how much? No, that can't be right! It is $285 through Walgreens Specialty pharmacy - there must be some mistake!?
P: No ma'am - that is correct. We are not a specialty pharmacy so we don't offer a discounted price.
I sat there speechless & stunned. I had to have the medication so I had no choice but to pay for it. He swiped my debit card & it comes up declined! Seriously? WTF! I have plenty of money in my checking account so I don't know why it came up declined. He swiped it again & ran it as credit & it processed. By this point I was pissed & I wasn't sure exactly why or who I was pissed at?!? Maybe it was the pharmacy that didn't have my meds in the first place? Maybe it was the fact that I am having to go though all this infertility BS every month? Maybe I was mad at the insurance company for not covering a single dime of ANY of my fertility medications I have to take every frickin' day!? Who knows...I was just glad to have my meds & be on my way.
I ended up stopping at Gambinos's, our local pizza joint here in Spring Hill to pick up dinner because at this point I was mad I had to spend $399 for one little vial of medication & wasn't in the mood to cook. I go to swipe my debit card to pay for the pizza & again my card came up declined. The gal tried to run my card & it came back declined...again! I was so F'n mad & embarrassed. Gotta love living in a small town because they let me write a check w/no problems.
Got back in my car & was on the phone to US Bank to figure out what the hell was going on with my debit card. After waiting for 10 minutes, I finally get someone to assist me. Turns out that my purchase at Perry Drug was "suspicious" & they had suspended my debit card from any other purchases until I contacted them to discuss it. Nice of them to be "looking out" for my account but irritated they froze my card. After going through all my transactions for the last 2 days, they cleared my card for use again.
What a crazy day...here's hoping to a less chaotic tomorrow! I'm starting my morning off at the RE's office & a date with the dildo cam so anything is bound to happen!
So on Saturday the RE called in a prescription to the only pharmacy in the KC area that carries Follistim. It is a privately owned pharmacy located inside one of the hospitals here in Overland Park, KS. I left work early today so I could get there in time before they closed.
When I got there, I gave them my name, told them what I was there for & the pharmacy tech went to look for my prescription. Turns out that they were OUT of Follistim. I almost flipped the F out. My RE told me that they are supposed to ALWAYS have Follisitim because they are the ONLY pharmacy in Kansas City that carries it & they are telling me they don't have any. WTF? This prescription was sent to them on Saturday & they didn't even bother to call me to tell me they were out?! It is Tuesday for F sake!
So after I said a few choice words to the pharmacist, he goes back to the frig, pulls out somebody elses prescription of Follistim, slaps my informaion sticker on it and proceeds to ring me up. I was somewhat bothered that I was getting some poor girls prescription but was secretly glad they were able to accomodate me.
Then the pharmacist says:
P: that will be $399!
H: Um - how much? No, that can't be right! It is $285 through Walgreens Specialty pharmacy - there must be some mistake!?
P: No ma'am - that is correct. We are not a specialty pharmacy so we don't offer a discounted price.
I sat there speechless & stunned. I had to have the medication so I had no choice but to pay for it. He swiped my debit card & it comes up declined! Seriously? WTF! I have plenty of money in my checking account so I don't know why it came up declined. He swiped it again & ran it as credit & it processed. By this point I was pissed & I wasn't sure exactly why or who I was pissed at?!? Maybe it was the pharmacy that didn't have my meds in the first place? Maybe it was the fact that I am having to go though all this infertility BS every month? Maybe I was mad at the insurance company for not covering a single dime of ANY of my fertility medications I have to take every frickin' day!? Who knows...I was just glad to have my meds & be on my way.
I ended up stopping at Gambinos's, our local pizza joint here in Spring Hill to pick up dinner because at this point I was mad I had to spend $399 for one little vial of medication & wasn't in the mood to cook. I go to swipe my debit card to pay for the pizza & again my card came up declined. The gal tried to run my card & it came back declined...again! I was so F'n mad & embarrassed. Gotta love living in a small town because they let me write a check w/no problems.
Got back in my car & was on the phone to US Bank to figure out what the hell was going on with my debit card. After waiting for 10 minutes, I finally get someone to assist me. Turns out that my purchase at Perry Drug was "suspicious" & they had suspended my debit card from any other purchases until I contacted them to discuss it. Nice of them to be "looking out" for my account but irritated they froze my card. After going through all my transactions for the last 2 days, they cleared my card for use again.
What a crazy day...here's hoping to a less chaotic tomorrow! I'm starting my morning off at the RE's office & a date with the dildo cam so anything is bound to happen!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Update
This morning I started my holiday weekend with an early date at the RE's office for a CD 3 US & blood draw. No cysts found on the ovaries & my bloodwork came back w/in normal limits - FSH: 7.7 & Estrogen 58 so I am good to go for round #3 of the injections.
They are increasing my dose of the Follistim to 125iu's daily instead of 100iu's to see if I can't grow more follicles. I start that tonight with the next US scheduled for Wed morning (CD 7) so we will see how things are progressing then.
I am on the same exact schedule by the day as the last 2 months so if everything tracks the same, we should be doing IUI next Mon or Tues.
To be cont...
They are increasing my dose of the Follistim to 125iu's daily instead of 100iu's to see if I can't grow more follicles. I start that tonight with the next US scheduled for Wed morning (CD 7) so we will see how things are progressing then.
I am on the same exact schedule by the day as the last 2 months so if everything tracks the same, we should be doing IUI next Mon or Tues.
To be cont...
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Bad timing
Yesterday I took a HPT which you all know by now was a BFN. Today is CD28 & like clock-work, I started spotting. Tomorrow AF should be full on...
So if tomorrow is CD1, then that means the following weekend my follicles should be ready to trigger & do our IUI procedure - the same weekend we will have TONS of family in town for my brother's wedding! Can the timing be any more wrong?!?
Can you imagine the morning of the wedding, before I'm to get my hair done with the rest of the bridal party, rushing home to "collect" my husbands sperm & run it to the clinic, get inseminated & rush back to the girls before too many people notice I am gone! NICE...
Good thing is the IUI should happen over the weekend so the hubby doesn't have to get out of work. Bad thing is it is the weekend of my brother's wedding. Oh well, I guess you can't "time" mother nature?! We will see what happens...
So if tomorrow is CD1, then that means the following weekend my follicles should be ready to trigger & do our IUI procedure - the same weekend we will have TONS of family in town for my brother's wedding! Can the timing be any more wrong?!?
Can you imagine the morning of the wedding, before I'm to get my hair done with the rest of the bridal party, rushing home to "collect" my husbands sperm & run it to the clinic, get inseminated & rush back to the girls before too many people notice I am gone! NICE...
Good thing is the IUI should happen over the weekend so the hubby doesn't have to get out of work. Bad thing is it is the weekend of my brother's wedding. Oh well, I guess you can't "time" mother nature?! We will see what happens...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Just as I thought...
So I POAS this morning & was not suprised to see a stark white stick staring back at me :(
Not sure how many more "slap in the face" moments like these I can take. I wasn't even the least bit excited this morning to test. In fact, I woke up dreading it because deep down I knew what the result would be but I went throught the motions anyway. It is really starting to wear on both me & my husband!
I said I would give the injections a 6 month try but after just 2 months I am not so sure anymore. I am starting to think we should just accept this fate of ours & move on. I am going to talk with my RE during my CD3 visit & see what his thoughts are. Pretty sure he will suggest moving on to IVF but I just can't grasp paying $13,000 out of pocket for something that only gives us a 50% chance of working?!
Decisions, decisions....
Not sure how many more "slap in the face" moments like these I can take. I wasn't even the least bit excited this morning to test. In fact, I woke up dreading it because deep down I knew what the result would be but I went throught the motions anyway. It is really starting to wear on both me & my husband!
I said I would give the injections a 6 month try but after just 2 months I am not so sure anymore. I am starting to think we should just accept this fate of ours & move on. I am going to talk with my RE during my CD3 visit & see what his thoughts are. Pretty sure he will suggest moving on to IVF but I just can't grasp paying $13,000 out of pocket for something that only gives us a 50% chance of working?!
Decisions, decisions....
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Getting Together!?
We went with Plan B...
Decided to forego the IUI since Shane missing work was going to be a problem. No big deal though - it was actually kind of nice for once to not have to rush a sample up to the Dr's office & have a plastic tube inserted into an area where no plastic should go :) When I called the NP to tell her the plan, she said in these exact words "make sure you & Shane do alot of "getting together" these next few days"! She is an older nurse & is too cute!
So I triggered on Sunday night & "got together" with the hubby.
Monday night I "got together" with the hubby...again.
This morning I ovulated & this evening proceeded to have yet more "together" time with the hubby. Let me just say that we are BOTH done with the "getting together" part - for the rest of this week anyway! Tomorrow morning I start the Prometrium - ugh! 14 days of constant leakage & dampness is oh so fun! I can hardly wait!
And with that, the 2 week wait begins...
Decided to forego the IUI since Shane missing work was going to be a problem. No big deal though - it was actually kind of nice for once to not have to rush a sample up to the Dr's office & have a plastic tube inserted into an area where no plastic should go :) When I called the NP to tell her the plan, she said in these exact words "make sure you & Shane do alot of "getting together" these next few days"! She is an older nurse & is too cute!
So I triggered on Sunday night & "got together" with the hubby.
Monday night I "got together" with the hubby...again.
This morning I ovulated & this evening proceeded to have yet more "together" time with the hubby. Let me just say that we are BOTH done with the "getting together" part - for the rest of this week anyway! Tomorrow morning I start the Prometrium - ugh! 14 days of constant leakage & dampness is oh so fun! I can hardly wait!
And with that, the 2 week wait begins...
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