I don't even know what to say or how to feel right now. I am so pissed, frustrated, sad - you name it & I am feeling it.
The nurse told me to continue my meds & we will redraw the HCG on Thursday to see where we are at but I'm not sure why I need to continue them? With a result like that I know where this is going. Besides, I am out of PIO & estrogen patches & I am tired of going broke spending money on IF meds that produce no baby so I am making an executive decision & I am stopping all my meds today. What's the point of going through all this when I know in my heart how this is going to end? Why prolong the inevitable? Even if the number does continue to rise, this isn't going to be a viable pregnancy. Staying on the meds would just be torture so I am done!
I'm not sure where we go from here. It is too upsetting to even think about right now. The hubby wants to sit down & talk about it tonight. I feel so bad for him that I have F'd up eggs & I can't give him a child! It just isn't fair.
I know we still have 2 frosties left but we transferred the best 2/4 last week & they didn't make it so why would the other two make it? I just don't want to be on this emotional roller coaster anymore. I am SO over all of this IF shit & I want to either have a family or move on without one.
I'm just so tired of being stuck in limbo, tired of enduring all of this & just plain tired of dealing with IF.