Acupuncture

So today I called & scheduled a consult with an Acupuncturist. I have an appointment on the morning of Feb 8th & depending on what they say, I would like to do acupuncture once a week up until the egg retrieval & then one last session right before the embryo transfer.

I'm really looking forward to the consult appointment, seeing how it all works & how it can help me with relaxation during our IVF cycle.

To learn more about acupuncture & infertility click here. This was a very helpful site for me so I hope you can learn from it also!

Balding

I've been taking the DHEA supplements for 3 weeks now & have been lucky enough to NOT be experiencing the acne, the hair growth on the face or the irritability.

Unfortunately, I have been experiencing the hair loss & LOTS of it. I have to take this supplement until mid March & at this rate, I may be bald by then. I don't notice much "shedding" during the day but when I go to wash my hair & comb through it when wet I have a huge clump of lost hair. I go in for a haircut in a couple of weeks so I'll be curious to know if my stylist notices my hair is thinner!?

The positive side of taking this pill is I have experienced an increase in my metabolism & have lost 4 lbs. I don't feel any hungrier than usual which is good but I do feel like I have alot more energy. I also feel more alert & sharper mentally. It's almost like a feel good "high" all day long - if that makes any sense?!

Now I'm just waiting for the increased libido & smoother skin to kick in :)

HSG experience

photo courtesy of: here

This morning I had my HSG procedure & let me tell you, it is NOT on the top of my list of things I would ever want to have done again! Going into it, I figured it can't be any worse than getting a PAP but I was wrong. WAY wrong & it sucked. Sucked bad!

The HSG was scheduled for 7am & since I knew I would be waking up to a lovely midwestern snow storm, I left the house early & arrived early. Dr. B arrived 45 min late :( Plenty of time for me to sit & stew about what I was about to go through. They called my name, had me put on a gown & then I sat & waited.

When Dr. B finally arrived I hopped up on to the x-ray table & assumed the position. Now I don't know if it was because she was running late from the weather or was in a hurry, but she jammed that cold speculum in forcefully & cranked it open alot more wider than I have EVER thought it could go! It was extremely uncomfortable. Then the real fun began!

Since we were already "in" there, she ended up doing the trial ET catheter measurement before we did the HSG which created a lot of mild cramping but was tolerable. She then removed that catheter & tried to insert the catheter for the HSG but it wouldn't go. So she asks for a tenaculum (aka: torture device) which is defined as: an istrument used to grab & tug on the cervix to straighten the angle between the cervix & the uterus making a stiffer catheter easier to pass. Um - cue the moderate cramping, nausea & lamaze-type breathing.

Once she finally got the stiffer catheter across the cervix & in place she removed the speculum which provided some relief & slid me under the x-ray machine. Next Dr. B said I was going to feel some mild cramping for about 5 seconds & we will be done. Fabulous. Quick & painless.

The lights went dim, she injected the dye & then I felt horrible cramping & hotness in my abdomen. The pain was so bad I felt like I was going to pass out & Dr. B kept telling me to slow my breathing. Mild cramping my ASS! What I was experiencing was severe & she kept injecting the dye again & again. She said she was having trouble seeing the runoff of dye from the right ovary into the abdomen so she kept injecting dye, took an x-ray, injected more dye...watched...took an x-ray. We did this 4 times & each time was beyond uncomfortable. After the 4th x-ray we were done. She removed the catheter & let me lay on the table to recover from all the cramping. I was so thankful to be done.

After about 5 minutes they got me up, walked me to the bathroom to change, handed me a huge, thick pad for the sticky, bloody discharge (sorry TMI) I would be experiencing the next few hours & sent me on my way....to work....in the snow storm.

The NP is supposed to be emailing me the official results later this week but from what I can remember Dr. B saying, my uterus & left fallopian tube looks normal but she had trouble visualizing my right tube. Regardless, she said we wouldn't proceed any differently with my upcoming IVF cycle. I didn't think to ask questions at that time as I was laying there recovering from all the cramping so not sure what all that means. Is my right tube blocked? Is my right ovary normal? I don't know. What I do know is I am SO glad to be done with that procedure & hope to never have to do that again!

For all my IF ladies: Please know that I am not posting this to scare anybody who has yet to get their HSG done. For me it was a horrible experience but not everyone's experience or pain threshold is the same nor will most of you have the complications I did (needing a stiffer catheter/numerous dye injections). You may fly through yours with no problems or pain whatsoever & I really hope you do! For me, I just try to keep it real & that is the main purpose of this blog - to share my IF experiences & journey with you all - the good, the bad & the ugly. Unfortunately, with me you are going to sometimes get the ugly!

Pill popper

So my RE wants me to start taking a supplement called DHEA - 3 times a day. It is a pill that is supposed to improve the quality of my eggs & embryos. I am to take this in addition to the estrogen pills, the prenatal vitamins, the folic acid tablets & the Z-pak I am starting on Saturday. It is all I can do to remember to take all these pills & when & now I have to add another one to the regimen:

2 tablets of Estrogen (4mg) + DHEA 25mg + azithromycin = morning
DHEA 25mg = afternoon
Prenatals, folic acid tablet & DHEA 25mg = evening

Ugh - I feel like I am a pill-popping addict & it is only going to get worse come February :(

With everything I have taken in the past, I make sure to read up on the side effects so I know what to expect. This time was no different, so imagine my concern when I read this on the bottle of the DHEA: Side effects include: acne, hair loss, hair growth on the face (for women), aggressiveness, irritability, & increased levels of estrogen - and to think this is only when taking 25mg a day!? I can't imagine what kind of mess I'm going to be after taking 75 mg/day! However, it is what I have been instructed to do so I will do it.

On the plus side though, it says I can expect: an increased libido, smoother skin, increased mental clarity, improved overall sense of well-being, increase in metabolism, help in promoting weight loss & help with building the immune system.

So I guess I can look forward to not only being a pimply, bald, irritable, hormonal mess but also an aggressive, skinny & horny bitch with beautiful skin who never gets sick!?

Nice.

A New Year

Goodbye 2010 - I am glad to be putting you behind me. In my IF world, you have been nothing but a year full of uncomfortable monitoring appointments, painful hormone shots, agonizing 2 week wait's, depressing CD1's, & way too many disappointing BFN's. Today on the first day of a new year, I have decided to let it all go. I am letting go of the dream, letting go of the monthly disappointments, letting go of the outcome of our 1st failed IVF & letting go of the last four years of pain, grief, & hope.

With every new year comes personal resolutions & this year I have made up a few of my own:

1) I am going to try to do everything in my power to make my life about other things in 2011 other than being infertile.

2) I promise that infertility will not be my focus - whatever the year brings. It will not consume me as I have let it done this past year.

3) We will do one more IVF cycle & if that fails us & we have no embryos to freeze, then we will be done. We will let go of the dream forever, we will accept it & we will move on.

This IF journey is a tough one - for everyone involved - but for some reason "hope" keeps us moving forward to the next month & all the possibilities it has to offer. I am very excited about 2011 & what it will bring for us. We have a new RE, a new plan, a new protocol & new hope. If IVF #2 works out for us, we will have a "reminder" by the end of the year just how wonderful 2011 was :)

So, my wish for you all that read this blog are many blessings in the new year & nothing but peace, happiness & BFP's to all my friends who are going through IF.

May 2011 be the year that all our hopes & wishes finally do come true!

Hugs to you all,
HT - xoxo