Sunday, January 8, 2012

New year, new plan

It's been 40 days since I last posted & I must say this little "break" we were on has done me good both physically & mentally. I've lost 5 lbs (hard to believe through the holidays), healed emotionally from our last loss & am ready to take on 2012 with a new plan - our very last & final plan.

The hubby & I ended up having "the talk" as to where we go from here & seem to be on the same page. We sat down together & I laid out all our options:

- doing nothing & living life child-free
- doing a fresh IVF cycle
- doing a donor egg IVF cycle
- adopting frozen embryos
- adoption

The hubby started off by saying he doesn't want to do just nothing. He would rather exhaust ALL options before we settle for living life child-free.

Then the hubby said he does not want to adopt. He is not crazy about adopting a child with all the unknowns (family history/medical history/mental & physical history/unknown pre-natal care, etc). I can respect his thoughts & even though I personally wouldn't mind adopting, if we can't both agree then it isn't an option. I am glad I now know his thoughts on the subject because we have never discussed adoption before. We talked about frozen embryo adoption but because of how he feels about adoption then this option is out also.

So the only other options we have are doing a fresh IVF cycle with my own eggs or with donor eggs. He asked me what I wanted to do & I told him if I had to pick between the two I would do another IVF cycle using donor eggs just because my own eggs have proven to be crappy quality. He said using donor eggs is not his first choice (my own eggs are) but he would be fine with it if we chose that option. After discussing all this, he just seems to be really adamant about having a child with at least one of our DNA.

SO - I called today to make an appointment with our RE to discuss doing IVF with donor eggs & how that whole process works. The soonest we could get in is Feb 2nd so now we wait.

We both agreed that it wouldn't hurt to "try" in the meantime just in case a miracle happens & both agreed that this would be the very last IVF cycle we do. If it doesn't work out that we have a baby out of this then we have agreed to live life without children.

A new year, a new plan - I am excited for what the new year may bring!


Amanda said...

I am SO glad that you're back! It's funny how much you can care about someone in bloggy land that you've never met. ((hug)) This sounds like a fabulous plan and I am beyond excited for you guys. I know February 2nd will be here before we know it, but it seems so far away when you're looking forward to it. Promise you won't be gone for so long again! =)

Michelle said...

Glad you have a plan! Hoping and praying your apt with your RE goes well and this is your big successful cycle no matter which option you chose!!

Cori said...

Glad you're starting 2012 with a plan and feeling better. Can't wait to hear about your appointment. Sending you lots of love and prayers!

Lauren said...

So happy to see you're back and have a plan. Come on year, new you!

Desiree said...

Yay for plans!

You're in my thoughts and prayers!!

Anonymous said...

I ran across your blog while googling information on infertility. We have similar stories, although we started trying to conceive a few months after we got married because of our ages. Nine months ttc on our own, with RE 5 failed IUI's, one natural pregnancy the month after our first IVF!! miscarried 6.5 weeks. 3 failed IVF's, one bfp IVF June 2011 but miscarried at 7 weeks. After ttc for so long, 2 miscarriages in 6 months of each other was almost too much to bare. Now pending AF to do our 5th cycle. We do have on frozen embryo from our last cycle, but not sure how high quality it is as we have NEVER had more than 2 left by day3. Anyway, I wish you the best in 2012 and hope your dreams come true. Kate