It's been 40 days since I last posted & I must say this little "break" we were on has done me good both physically & mentally. I've lost 5 lbs (hard to believe through the holidays), healed emotionally from our last loss & am ready to take on 2012 with a new plan - our very last & final plan.
The hubby & I ended up having "the talk" as to where we go from here & seem to be on the same page. We sat down together & I laid out all our options:
- doing nothing & living life child-free
- doing a fresh IVF cycle
- doing a donor egg IVF cycle
- adopting frozen embryos
The hubby started off by saying he doesn't want to do just nothing. He would rather exhaust ALL options before we settle for living life child-free.
Then the hubby said he does not want to adopt. He is not crazy about adopting a child with all the unknowns (family history/medical history/mental & physical history/unknown pre-natal care, etc). I can respect his thoughts & even though I personally wouldn't mind adopting, if we can't both agree then it isn't an option. I am glad I now know his thoughts on the subject because we have never discussed adoption before. We talked about frozen embryo adoption but because of how he feels about adoption then this option is out also.
So the only other options we have are doing a fresh IVF cycle with my own eggs or with donor eggs. He asked me what I wanted to do & I told him if I had to pick between the two I would do another IVF cycle using donor eggs just because my own eggs have proven to be crappy quality. He said using donor eggs is not his first choice (my own eggs are) but he would be fine with it if we chose that option. After discussing all this, he just seems to be really adamant about having a child with at least one of our DNA.
SO - I called today to make an appointment with our RE to discuss doing IVF with donor eggs & how that whole process works. The soonest we could get in is Feb 2nd so now we wait.
We both agreed that it wouldn't hurt to "try" in the meantime just in case a miracle happens & both agreed that this would be the very last IVF cycle we do. If it doesn't work out that we have a baby out of this then we have agreed to live life without children.
A new year, a new plan - I am excited for what the new year may bring!