7dp5dt

Reality has set in & I am starting to accept what isn't going to be.

I was crampy all day yesterday & started having brown/reddish-brown spotting yesterday afternoon & as of this morning it is still present. A devastating reminder of how my last IVF cycle ended up! I am upset, disappointed, frustrated, sad - you name it I am feeling it. I haven't told Shane yet about the spotting because I don't want to worry him so I will just wait until the results of my beta tomorrow to tell him the news :(

I have spent the last 24 hours consulting Dr. Google trying to find some glimmer of hope that all this cramping/spotting will result in a BFP but the signs just aren't pointing there. Yes, some spotting is supposed to be normal but not the amount that I have been having nor is it normal to be spotting while taking PIO injections.

I know we have 2 more chances with our frozen embryo's but right now I am on the verge of giving up all hope. I am beginning to think that something is wrong with my body & that maybe I am just not meant to have children. I want so badly for tomorrow to get here so I can be told my beta was negative & move on to the next cycle.

This is such an emotional roller-coaster & I just want off the ride :(