Monday, April 4, 2011


Reality has set in & I am starting to accept what isn't going to be.

I was crampy all day yesterday & started having brown/reddish-brown spotting yesterday afternoon & as of this morning it is still present. A devastating reminder of how my last IVF cycle ended up! I am upset, disappointed, frustrated, sad - you name it I am feeling it. I haven't told Shane yet about the spotting because I don't want to worry him so I will just wait until the results of my beta tomorrow to tell him the news :(

I have spent the last 24 hours consulting Dr. Google trying to find some glimmer of hope that all this cramping/spotting will result in a BFP but the signs just aren't pointing there. Yes, some spotting is supposed to be normal but not the amount that I have been having nor is it normal to be spotting while taking PIO injections.

I know we have 2 more chances with our frozen embryo's but right now I am on the verge of giving up all hope. I am beginning to think that something is wrong with my body & that maybe I am just not meant to have children. I want so badly for tomorrow to get here so I can be told my beta was negative & move on to the next cycle.

This is such an emotional roller-coaster & I just want off the ride :(


Anna said...

I'm so sorry. ((((HUGS)))) Praying for you.

Desiree said...

Aw hell.

I'm so sorry Heather. I hate this for you, it sucks big hairy balls. :-(

10yearstogether said...

I am so so sorry Heather. I am still hoping for the best for you, but I know that's not comforting to you right now. Big hugs.

Cori said...

I'm sad with you. I hate IF. FB me if you need to.

LCSween said...

I'm still holding out hope! So many of us have spotted early in pregnancy and the cramping is totally normal! praying for you :)

suhair said...

holding out hope! hoping & praying this is it for you.