Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The fat lady is singing...

You know that phrase "it ain't over 'til the fat lady sings"??? Well, the fat lady is singing :(

Woke up this morning & had no spotting. Actually thought that maybe...just maybe it could be a positive result after all!? POAS & it was negative. Went in for my beta, got to work, went to the bathroom & bright red blood. Not just a little bit but TONS of it (sorry TMI)! I was crushed. I had my moment, dusted myself off & proceeded to go back to work. I knew in my heart it was over before I even got the results.

Fast forward to lunchtime. Still no call. I had taken my patient up to their room & was surprised to see a very dear friend of mine working today. We seem to never be at the hospital on the same day so I was SO happy & blessed to have run into her - especially today. She is also going through her 1st IVF in the next couple of weeks & goes to the same clinic as I do. We have sent many a text to each other & have been very supportive of each other these past couple of months. I told her about the events this morning & she gave me a huge hug. Cue the tears :( I lost it. We got to talking about everything & God love that girl she got me laughing & I love her for that. She will never know how much that hug & her just being there at that moment meant to me. (actually she reads my blog so now she knows - thank you SO much JJ! xoxo)

Ironically, during our conversation I received the phone call. "So sorry to tell you...stop all your meds...schedule your WTF appt soon....blah, blah, blah". Unfortunately, I have heard it all once before & let me tell you - it stings just the same the 2nd time around.

So, where do we go from here?

I called the clinic to schedule our WTF appt & they just so happened to have a cancellation tomorrow morning. Lucky us. So we are going to that appt to discuss everything & figure out our plans for our frozen embryo transfer. Not sure if we will jump into that right away or maybe wait a cycle before we proceed. We will see what tomorrow brings. Right now, I just need to get through today.


LCSween said...

I'm so very sorry. I'm so confused, angry, and heartbroken b/c I really thought this was it.

I'm glad you have your WTF tomorrow and am curious to see what your RE says.

you poor thing. huge, ginormous ((((HUGS))))

Desiree said...

I hope you got my text and I just want to second it again here. Dammit dammit dammit.

This so completely and totally sucks and I'm so very sorry. I hate this so much for you.

Cori said...


I am so sad. I am praying, too. My thoughts are with you and Shane.

Michelle said...

I'm so heartbroken for you sweetie! I was so sure this was going to be IT! I'm so glad you have your WTF tomorrow and can get some answers and a plan! Sending you lots of hugs and prayers!!

Dandle Dreams said...

Oh H, I am so sorry to hear this. I had such high hopes for this cycle. It's not fair that you have to go through so much heartbreak.

suhair said...

i am so so sad right now =( it is just so unfair to go through all this and have the perfect setup only to hear this. i am SO happy your WTF is today and you can get some answers and a plan underway. tons of prayers coming your way. ((HUGS))