So today I went & visited my OB/GYN. I called yesterday to get an appt with her & it was either today or Nov 3rd & they didn't want me to wait 3 weeks to see them so that's how I ended up seeing her so soon.
Can I just say how much I LOVE my OB? I have been seeing her for 3 years now for my GYN stuff & she is fabulous, sensitive, kind, gentle & SO compassionate. She listened to all my concerns & was like "we will do whatever you want Heather if it will make you feel better". She said anytime I am feeling at all "anxious" & want an US to check on things she said just call up the office & we will fit you in. Seriously - who does that? She also expressed how I am high-risk & that she was going to be keeping a very close eye on me so I should get used to the fact that we are going to be seeing ALOT of each other. I have an appt with her on Nov 8th & on Dec 6th & then she wants to start checking me every two weeks to make sure my cervix is staying closed, there are no signs of p-eclampsia or early labor. Like she said, we are going to see alot of each other :)
Our next US is scheduled for Oct 25th to hear the heartbeat which I will be exactly 9 weeks. Very nervous for that appt & need to put my trust in God that everything will be developing as it should & that there still is a heartbeat.
Today I am 7 weeks & it is the farthest I have ever gotten with any pregnancy. Unfortunately, I am finding it really difficult to be excited about being pregnant & feel more stressed. This is what IF has done to me. Every time I go to the bathroom (which is ALL the time) I get nervous I will see spotting. Every little cramp or twinge I think it is the start to a miscarriage. Everyday that goes by I think this just might be the last day I will be PG because surely this isn't going to last. After all that I have gone through I just can't believe that this may be actually happening for us. Then when I start to relax a little bit I begin to think of all the awful genetic defects that can go wrong with someone who is my age & I become worried all over again. It is a vicious cycle & I don't know if the feelings will ever go away.
I have been doing my acupuncture weekly which helps alleviate stress & I bought some pregnancy meditation CD's which are soothing so hoping I can keep my stress levels down. I have been taking a nap everyday after work & been going to bed early so that seems to help also.
Just trying to take it one day at a time...