Tuesday, October 11, 2011

OB visit

So today I went & visited my OB/GYN. I called yesterday to get an appt with her & it was either today or Nov 3rd & they didn't want me to wait 3 weeks to see them so that's how I ended up seeing her so soon.

Can I just say how much I LOVE my OB? I have been seeing her for 3 years now for my GYN stuff & she is fabulous, sensitive, kind, gentle & SO compassionate. She listened to all my concerns & was like "we will do whatever you want Heather if it will make you feel better". She said anytime I am feeling at all "anxious" & want an US to check on things she said just call up the office & we will fit you in. Seriously - who does that? She also expressed how I am high-risk & that she was going to be keeping a very close eye on me so I should get used to the fact that we are going to be seeing ALOT of each other. I have an appt with her on Nov 8th & on Dec 6th & then she wants to start checking me every two weeks to make sure my cervix is staying closed, there are no signs of p-eclampsia or early labor. Like she said, we are going to see alot of each other :)

Our next US is scheduled for Oct 25th to hear the heartbeat which I will be exactly 9 weeks. Very nervous for that appt & need to put my trust in God that everything will be developing as it should & that there still is a heartbeat.

Today I am 7 weeks & it is the farthest I have ever gotten with any pregnancy. Unfortunately, I am finding it really difficult to be excited about being pregnant & feel more stressed. This is what IF has done to me. Every time I go to the bathroom (which is ALL the time) I get nervous I will see spotting. Every little cramp or twinge I think it is the start to a miscarriage. Everyday that goes by I think this just might be the last day I will be PG because surely this isn't going to last. After all that I have gone through I just can't believe that this may be actually happening for us. Then when I start to relax a little bit I begin to think of all the awful genetic defects that can go wrong with someone who is my age & I become worried all over again. It is a vicious cycle & I don't know if the feelings will ever go away.

I have been doing my acupuncture weekly which helps alleviate stress & I bought some pregnancy meditation CD's which are soothing so hoping I can keep my stress levels down. I have been taking a nap everyday after work & been going to bed early so that seems to help also.

Just trying to take it one day at a time...


Jen said...

Even those of us who haven't experienced IF have those same thoughts. I know every time I go the bathroom in my first tri I always look for blood. Also the constant worry never ends...welcome to motherhood!

Desiree said...

Nope, the worry doesn't go away. The best you can do is try to remember to breathe along with the worrying. That way at least you won't be passing out from holding your breath waiting for the other shoe to drop.

In other news, I FINALLY put your present in the mail today!! They said it should arrive by Friday but the lady had to go and jinx things by saying I may not have wrapped it securely enough. I will have a conniption if that damn thing gets lost in the mail after all this time!! :-)

Praying so much for you babe!!

Casey // this modern love. said...

OK- first of all- the CAPTCHA thing that verifies my identity to be able to comment on your blog is "pregie" - cracks me up. :)

The worry will never go away, and it is worse for those who have experienced loss for sure - My thoughts and prayers are with you to cross each milestone successfully and painlessly. Big hugs to you!!

Michelle said...

I wish I could say that all those fears go away but honestly at 37 weeks pregnant I STILL feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop! Not to be discouraging but to let you know that you're not alone in feeling this way! IF,especially all you have dealt with, robs us of the joys of being pregnant. You just have to trust in the good Lord's plan for you and this PERFECT little one you're going to meet in May!! You're always in my thoughts and prayers Heather!! ((HUGS))

Cori said...

The worries will never go away, I agree. And btw, I spotted at 9 wks with Ava and 15 wks with Aidan and it meant nothing. So even if you see spotting, don't freak. I did, of course, but that's just what I do. ;)
Sometimes when I can't control the outcome I find the best thing is a surrender prayer. "God, I am giving this to you. It is all your's. Do what YOU want, and help me to feel your love and peace."
And speaking of thanking God, it is about time D got that present in the mail....seriously! hehe, just kidding, Desiree. ;)
I'm here if you need me, don't forget that. Take care, sister!

Lauren said...

Heather! I'm just catching up on all of your posts...I love seeing the ultrasound. I worried the whole time and every milestone was such a miracle. I am so very happy for you :)

Desiree said...

Dude, I know, I suck! :-)

Stacey G said...

I've been really rubbish with keeping up with blogs lately but catching up today and I saw this, wow! Congratulations :) Even at 19 weeks I am so nervous every time I go to the toilet, especially since bleeding at 14 weeks, I still don't believe this is happening for us. I don't think the worry will ever stop until you are holding your baby in your arms - and even then it will continue forever! Looking forward to regularly reading your future posts and keeping up with you :)

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