AMH results

My AMH level is back - finally!

It is 1.29

According to my RE:
Normal AMH is >1.5
Between 1 and 1.5 is OK.
Less than 1 is very worrisome & more likely will result in a lower pregnancy rate.

So my AMH isn't bad but it's not normal either. My entire IVF calendar was being based on that lab result so since I am in the "ok" range, the dates on the calendar still stand:

12/20 - start Estrogen priming protocol
2/14 - begin Provera
2/20 - take last Estradiol & Provera tablets
2/24 - start birth control pills, aspirin & dexamethasone
3/9 - "suppression check" appt
3/11 - start microdose Lupron shots
3/13 - start stimulation shots
3/24 - tentative egg retrieval
3/29 - tentative embryo transfer

Looking forward to getting the ball rolling! Here's hoping the month of Jan & Feb fly by!

Happy Holidays

LOL - I saw this picture & cracked up so I just had to post it :)

For those of you who aren't familiar with what the pic is, it is an X-ray from an HSG procedure. Something that those of us who suffer with IF has done at one time or another. Actually, I am having one done in a couple of weeks.

Oh joy - I can hardly wait to get to lie on yet another exam table with my legs put into stirrups yet again & have a speculum shoved into my "hoo hoo" while a catheter is pushed through my cervix, contrast is injected into my uterus & x-ray's are taken. Sounds awesome doesn't it?? And when it is all done I get to lay there on the exam table until I have recovered from the severe cramping caused by the contrast swirling around in my uterus & fallopian tubes. Wow - I can hardly contain my excitement to get this fabulous procedure done!!!

All humor aside, I did just want to take a minute to wish all of you who read & follow this blog a very Merry Christmas & here's hoping we ALL get our BFP's in the New Year! Thanks to you all for the kind comments & words of encouragement that I have received on this blog throughout the year as well as on www.thebump.com! You ladies are awesome & I wish you nothing but the best in 2011 :)

Ready, set, go...

It hasn't even been a week since my 2nd opinion visit with a new RE & I am WAY impressed already. These people mean business & don't mess around which is making me feel really optimistic for our upcoming IVF cycle.

In just 5 days, I have had 4 emails sent to me by my RE's Nurse Practitioner re: upcoming labwork, appts & what is planned for our next IVF. Today I went & had my CD 4 labwork drawn for FSH, Estradiol & AMH which showed FSH: 9.4 (8 or less is normal, 9-11 fair) & Estradiol: 20 (50 or less is normal). We are awaiting the AMH results which should be in by Thursday. My RE would like to see that result greater than 1.5 so I am crossing my fingers it comes back where she wants it. My entire IVF protocol is based around that result so I am hoping it is good.

Today I received via email a tentative IVF calendar for our next cycle (depending on AMH results), was scheduled for an HSG test (which I'm not sure how I have gotten this far in the game without one?!) & was given a list of what OTC meds I need to start taking now (prenatal/multi-vitamin, DHEA). She also told me to start taking Estradiol today so I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up my prescription. So - I guess our IVF cycle is getting underway.

I was also told today that my RE wants to do an "estrogen priming protocol" before I start suppression meds - hence starting the Estradiol today. She said taking the extra estrogen helps make sure that all of my hormone receptors are "awake & ready" to respond to the stimulation medication when it is time which she said might help them get more eggs!?

All I know is that I have to take it for 6 weeks, will take Provera for 1 week during the last week of Estradiol & then I start BCP/Lupron for 2 weeks so we are looking at mid-March for stims & end of March for egg retrieval/transfer. It seems so far away but I'm sure the time will go by quickly! It is kind of a bummer I have to take the estrogen for so long before we get started but if it helps us get more eggs than I can wait!

Here. We. Go.

2nd opinion

This morning we had an appointment with a new Fertility Clinic for a 2nd opinion & to discuss our options & any changes that might be made to our upcoming 2nd IVF cycle.

When we got there, we were taken into a consult room to go over both our history & last IVF cycle. We also went over how they do IVF at their clinic, what they wanted to do differently with my next cycle, we talked to the financial advisor to go over cost & then we got to meet & visit with the RE.

She was very honest, straight-forward & open with us about her thoughts on our next cycle which kind of bothered me at first but after thinking about it, it is what it is & there is no sugar coating the facts. I am 38 yo, my FSH levels are borderline average, I haven't responded well to ovulation induction meds in the past & we have a 35% chance that IVF #2 is going to work (according to their statistics for someone my age). Doesn't give us a lot of hope after you lay it all out there like that but like I said - it is what it is.

I think she sensed the disappointed look on my face after she went over all the statistics with us because she then told us that she wasn't going to count us out of the game just yet & she believes I will respond well to a different protocol (Microflare Protocol). She is going to be very aggressive with meds putting me on the max dose & seeing how I respond & go from there. She said she would like to see me get at least 12 follicles, then do a 5 day transfer & hopefully have a few embies to freeze. We also talked about OHSS in great detail since she said I would be at high risk for developing this with the aggressive approach to stims.

So, after going through everything in detail, we have decided to begin IVF #2 with the start of my cycle in Jan which is looking to be around the 3rd week with ER/ET around mid Feb.

All in all, we both feel it was a good appointment & I'm glad we seeked out a 2nd opinion. I am glad to hear they are going to be taking a more aggressive approach with this next round as it will be our last IVF cycle. I don't think I can mentally, physically or financially do a 3rd one!

I can't help but feel a bit negative about all the "facts" that were presented to us but I am somewhat hopeful that with any luck, we will fall into that 35% - or that we get a lot of follicles & have a few embies to freeze for later! So for now, I will continue to enjoy our "break", get through the holidays & gear up for IVF festivities in about 4 weeks!

Update

Sorry I have been MIA these past couple of weeks. I guess when you are on a TTC break there isn't much to post about on an "infertility" blog!? I also have a personal blog that I post on quite often so if anyone is interested in learning about the "non-fertility" part of my life you can read about it HERE.

The past 2 weeks have been crazy so I guess that is why time has flown by & I haven't posted anything on here since Nov 14th!? In those 2 weeks, I have been working alot of extra OT, taking alot of extra call, preparing the house for the Thanksgiving guests, cooking the T-giving meal, entertaining guests, putting fall decor away & putting up the Christmas decor - I am getting exhausted just talking about it all!

All the guests left Saturday morning & once I finally got a chance to sit down & relax (which was Sunday) I felt the all too familiar pain in my left & right side. Could it be? Why yes - it is ovulation time - already! I guess it has been 2 weeks since AF showed up!? So I grabbed my daily planner & counted out the days. Yep - CD 14 was here & I had all the signs: watery CM, left/right sided pain, bloated & the biggest sign of all: Predictable - I know my body well!

So we gave it another good ol' fashioned try & will hope for the best. I am expecting AF around the time of our 2nd opinion consultation (Dec 15th) so we will see whether she shows or not. I hope to be pleasantly surprised!

Speaking of surprises - I had kind of a crazy, weird, emotional infertility kind of day. When I first got to work, a co-worker of mine who is my age (38 yo) & has struggled for awhile now to get PG told me she is 6 weeks pregnant. After lunch I ran into another co-worker of mine who looked upset so I asked if she was ok & she bust into tears. She shared with me that she had found out last week she was pregnant & received a phone call from the doctors office saying her beta was not doubling & her progesterone was extremely low. They told her that she would probably miscarry this week. It was her 2nd m/c in the last 5 months. My heart broke for her as she confided in me & I could relate to exactly how she felt :( I hugged her, shared my experiences with her & we had a heart to heart talk. It really made me feel good to be able to help someone else who was going through what I have unfortunately been through not once but twice.

Later this evening, I get home, make dinner, sit down to eat & browse through the blogs I follow. I see one inparticular from Dandle Dreams & I was looking forward to opening it since she hadn't posted inawhile.

Now I have never met Dandle nor do I know her name. I don't even know what she looks like or where she lives. I only know her because we had both gone through our 1st IVF around the same time together. We both got our BFN results around the same time also. We have been supporting each other through the ups & downs of this unfortunate journey via our blogs & I have been thankful for her support along with the rest of these lovely group of ladies I follow & whom follow me. I like to think of them as the "Ya Ya Sisterhood of Infertility" & I hate that we all know of one another only because of our inability to have children :(

We both have IVF #2 tentatively scheduled to begin in January so I was looking forward to having another cycle buddy to go through this craziness with - that is until today. Today I read Dandle's post titled "Unbelievable" & it seems Miss Thang gone & got pregnant on her own. Au naturale. No ART involved. Even with a partly blocked fallopian tube & thin uterine lining. A-mah-zing! And you know what? I am thrilled for her & couldn't be any happier!

I love hearing success stories like this. Especially to those who are so deserving. It's these kind of positive outcomes from a journey that has been so long that restores my hope that moments like this weekend could possibly work out for us. Dandle is proof that it can happen & I am SO very excited for her.

CD1 :(

Well, so much for wishful thinking. AF decided to show today - CD 31 like clockwork :( I hate how she is always on time. And with that said, another new cycle begins.

In other news, I have been doing lots of research on other fertility clinics here in the area. I decided to get a second opinion regarding our next cycle of IVF not because I am unhappy with our present RE, but mainly to see what this other clinic has to offer financially as well as treatment recommendations. Also to see if there is anything that might be done differently with us as well as see their success rates with other patients in my age group.

I called the Reproductive Resource Center & after filling out tons of paperwork, we have an appointment scheduled for Dec 15th. They warned us that this appointment will be 3 hours long & while there Shane will have to do a semen analysis & I will be getting a pelvic exam. Talk about getting right down to business!?! These people don't mess around! It makes me feel good that they are being so thorough during our first appointment.

So that is something to look forward to - I guess.

All Smiles

So AF showed up on Oct 15th which made my 1st cycle after our failed IVF 33 days. A little longer than usual but thankful I am still regular.

Today is CD 15 & I started having ovulatory pain this morning. Since I have a bunch of OPK tests left over from previous cycles, I thought I might take an OPK test today afer work to see what it showed.

Ta da:Oh smiley face - how I have missed you so. This means my LH hormone is surging & I should ovulate in the next 24-48 hrs. You can guess what is about to go down in our house the next couple of days! Even though we are on a "break" I figure if you get the smiley then you might as well give it a try! At this point, what do we have to lose!? It has happened naturally twice before so I guess anything can happen!?

I Am The Face

Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Each year, an estimated 500,000 babies are lost to miscarriage, 1 in every 148 births are stillborn, & 3 babies in every 1,000 die shortly after being born. While the families touched by these losses struggle with their grief throughout the year, today we all pause to remember the babies that were lost.

I AM THE FACE campaign was created to spread awareness of pregnancy/infant loss, & raise support for those who are affected by it.

I am one of the faces affected by pregnancy/infant loss everyday & tonight I will light a candle at 7pm to honor those babies that have been lost. Please go to www.iamtheface.org to show your support and join the movement.

Too many women have to go through this journey alone & fortunately for me I was able to find a group of women who were there doing my weakest times. Miscarriage & Pregnancy Loss shouldn't feel like a taboo subject. Awareness should be as common as AIDS or Cancer awareness. The little ones lost deserve to be honored just as those who suffer from disease and cancer.

I often remember our sweet angels that were taken from us too soon in March '09 & August '09 - especially today.

I am also remembering all those babies who grew wings too soon, for all my friends & loved ones who have had to take the journey of miscarriage, pregnancy loss, & still birth. My heart is with you all today.

Fall Goodies

This month the lovely ladies on www.thebump.com did a Fall Exchange which I participated in & when I got home today, these awesome goodies were in a package on the front steps waiting for me: These goodies came all the way from New Brunswick, NJ. My fall exchange sender was Lauren (aka: babystinkbreath) & she sent me cute little notecards, a box of pumpkin cookie mix, a pumpkin scented candle, halloween sox, bag of twix & some rawhides for the furry kids! That was so very sweet of her to send a little something for the pups :)

What a great group of ladies this forum has & so generous! These exchanges have been so much fun shopping for! I'm hoping we do a Christmas Exchange next month!

Checking In

Not much going on during this IF break so that is why I haven't written anything in awhile. I have gotten so caught up in life that I literally caught myself wondering what cycle day I was on today & didn't have a clue. So I pulled out the calendar, counted the days & discovered today is CD 29 so AF should be right around the corner. It has been so nice not keeping track of things this past month & it is amazing to me how fast the month of Sept has flown by.

Can't believe that Halloween is right around the corner!? The first weekend in Nov I am flying to WI to see my sister & her family, then Thanksgiving follows a few weeks after that where my family will be making the trip to KC & I will be cooking for us all, then in the middle of Dec we should be starting things up for IVF #2 & Christmas will follow shortly after. With all that going on, the time is going to fly by - which is good!

I feel like taking a break was definitely a good thing to do & I am actually looking forward to returning to the "IVF World" in a couple of months & hopeful for all the possibilities it has to offer.

Bliss

I am in bliss from IF vacation. No charting, no CM checks, no waiting rooms, no monitoring appointments, no needles, no progesterone suppositories, no living life by a calendar, & enjoying random acts of intimacy with my husband whenever we want.

It has been over one week into normalcy & it has been SO nice. It is amazing how fast the week flies by when you are not constantly looking at a calendar counting down the days. Which CD am I on? I have no clue because I haven't written it down, counted the days or even checked a calendar. Will I be ovulating soon? No clue - I have no idea what my cycle will be like after taking all these IF meds & honestly I'm not even going to think about it - no OPK tests, no POAS at the end of the cycle, no "TTC" thoughts. Nothing.

What I do know is I am already enjoying this "break" & I am sure come December I will be healed mentally & physically & we will be ready to face IVF round #2!

This "vacation" is definitely much needed & well deserved :)

What not to say...

Today I had words with a co-worker. They weren't unpleasant words but rather words that were truthful & spoke from my heart & needed to be said. Words that I'm glad I got out & don't regret saying.

I work with a girl who knows we are TTC & having difficulty but has NO clue the extent of what we have gone through the last 3 1/2 years. She is far from considerate about the subject & is always asking me how "the baby-making" is going - usually in front of other co-workers. When I respond with "we are still trying" she will usually reply with "don't worry, when the time is right it will happen" or "maybe you need a vacation where you can relax & then you'll get pregnant" or "just be patient...it will happen one day" & that is usually followed by "at least it's fun trying"!

Today she asked the same question & replied with the same answer. I was a bit hormonal today & just couldn't bite my tongue any longer. I finally said what I was thinking & I was irritated so I know it sounded bitchy but I didn't care. It went a little something like this:

"Sarah, I know you are trying to be nice & I don't want you to take this the wrong way but when you know someone is having trouble getting PG please DON’T tell her to "just relax." Don't say it will happen when the time is right. Don’t tell her to adopt & then surely she’ll get pregnant on her own. Don’t say, “At least it’s fun trying!” because guess what? I've tried it all & then some & it hasn't worked. Scheduling sex around a calendar with the person you love is not fun. I have been trying to "relax" for over 3 years now & the timing STILL isn't right. So next time you ask me about "baby-making" the best response to my answer would be to say "I'm sorry" & just leave it at that. Or better yet, don't even bother asking at all!"

I then turned around & walked out of the department & headed to my WTF appt with the biggest smile on my face :) Man that felt good....