Sunday, March 20, 2011

Pity Party for One

I started this blog for 2 reasons: a) to journel my thoughts & frustrations on this IF journey b) to be a resource & help others who are dealing with IF. Up to this point I have been pretty honest - sometimes brutally honest & I haven't sugar-coated much so why would I start now? I am the kind of person that keeps it "real" & this post ain't no different.

I am on day 8 of stims & I feel like shit people. See, keeping it real & no sugar-coating it. I have run out of room on my tummy to inject & can't seem to dodge the bruises anymore:So I have moved on to my thigh which oh by the way - stings like a mother f'r! I can't seem to tolerate all 4 injections in the thigh so I will continue to do the Lupron/low dose HCG injections in the tummy - in between the bruises. Besides, it's the 2 stim injections that make me bruise so this is hopefully the worst my tummy will look like. Anyone care to play "connect-the-dots"???

And can we talk about bloat for a second? Bloating from stims is a bitch & it makes you bitchy & makes you look like a fat bitch:Yeah - that is my belly hanging over my elastic waist-band fat-girl pants. Believe it or not, it was pretty flat about 2 weeks ago (despite my little pooch). I have gained 7 lbs since I started all this & that my friends is definitely NOT hot! I can no longer fit into my jeans & my scrubs/work-out pants are my new BFF's. I can't do any exercising per the RE for fear of developing ovarian torsion so that makes a fat-girl feel real good.

My abdominal pain started Friday after my 1st follie scan & has continued to get worse. Today I am really uncomfortable & can only take Tylenol which doesn't help much. Motrin, Ibuprofen, Aleve & Excedrin are not allowed since they effect the uterine lining. Sitting, standing, walking, peeing, coughing, laughing - all painful. It feels like I have two weights hanging where my ovaries are & any movement pulls & tugs on those weights & causes pain. So for the last 2 days I have done nothing but sit/lay on the couch & watch basketball. Oh & be pampered by the hubby - which hasn't been too bad :)

Let's talk EWCM - I got TONS of it people. My E2 levels must be on a huge rise because I have had more EWCM in the last 2 days than I have ever had in my entire life. I guess this is a good thing.

And to top all this fun off, tonight I have to "get-together" with the hubby in order to have a "fresh" sample for the ER this week. Honestly the thought of this makes me cringe. I am hoping he can just take care of business without much assistance. How f'n romantic is that? That my friends is keeping it real.

So my 2nd scan is tomorrow morning. If the NP tells me I need to do one more night of stims I think I might just cry on the spot. I just don't know how much more stretching my ovaries can honestly take. I am also beginning to worry about OHSS. My RE warned me that they would have to watch me closely since they are being so aggressive. This doesn't occur until after the ER & can sometimes effect/cancel the embryo transfer so I am praying that my ovaries behave themselves. I bought a bunch of Gatorade, PB & chicken to eat afterwards in hopes of warding off the evil spirits of OHSS.

So that's it for now. I'm going to continue to sit my fat ass on the couch, keep track of my brackets & lounge around in my fat-girl pants all while keeping it real.

Until tomorrow....


Michelle said...

oh honey!! I only had to do Gonal F an Ovidrel injections and I hated that and looked like a cutter (I did Gonal F in my thigh) so I can only imagine how you're feeling!! The bloat and s/e are the worst! Thinking of and praying for you everyday that all this work is going to pay off!! Just a few more days!!

PS-since my team decided to suck it up first round its Rock chalk jay hawk for me now!

Jennifer said...

Oh, I am sorry you are having to go through all that. Go ahead and complain all you want! You deserve it!

LCSween said...

your poor tummy :(

hang in are cooking so many eggs that are going to make wonderful embryos. Almost time! But, I know just how uncomfortable housing all those eggs really is. ((hugs))

Rachael said...

Ugh, I am sorry hun! For a joke you can take a washable marker and connect the dots and take a picture to put in a baby book (fingers crossed, lol)! I hope that the last few days are miraculously painless and no more excessive bloat. I am still trying to lose my bloat from my canceled cycle so I feel your pain. Hang in there! (((hugs)))

Desiree said...

Oh you poor baby! All those nasty bruises! But you know what, bitch away. Bitch all you want and we'll listen and hug you and listen some more.

I'm wearing my bracelet today and it looks fabulous! :-)

Hang in there, you got this!